Conversation is a tennis game!

Since conversational skills are included in our corporate etiquette and executive presence programs, I automatically listen and observe other people in conversation…what makes one person a vibrant conversationalist and another the invisible man or woman? The following are tried and true guidelines to ensure you are memorable:

WARM UP BEFORE THE GAME:

1. Research your opponent whenever possible –prepare topics of conversation beforehand.
2. Observe their verbal and non-verbal communication.  Do they look confident, shy or somewhere in between?
3. Make sure, if the rules state “tennis whites,” you don’t show up in vibrant blue…puts you at a disadvantage – business casual doesn’t mean grungy shorts and tennis shoes.

GAME ON:

1. You win the coin toss and serve first — make sure your serve is strong and true (as in a firm handshake)
2. Don’t take your eye off the ball – (make good eye contact allowing for cultural differences).
3. Begin with caution taking the measure of your opponent – (small talk is big business).
4. Strategize ball placement – (ask the right questions).
5. Watch your opponent’s verbal and non-verbal language – (listen closely and actively showing that you are listening as in not checking around you for a better prospect).
6. Observe when your opponent tries to dominate the game – (they talk incessantly about themselves without ever asking you a question — you listen politely). These players are oblivious as to how they are perceived –they proceed to exit the conversation believing they had a wonderful encounter when the opposite is true.
7. The best game is when both players are equally matched — (neither one hogs the conversation. The game was a pleasure to participate in and the seeds of a relationship are sown).
8. When the players are unevenly matched and your opponent keeps drilling down on winning shot after winning shot – – (they fail to notice your body-language indicating you can’t wait to exit the conversation…usually by pointing your feet or body in another direction).

Whether in a business or social occasion, having an attitude of contributing to the event helps you consider what’s important to the other person which is a winning strategy especially if you are a shy person.  This is an invaluable skill as you will be perceived as a great conversationalist, lending you the ability to foster relationships, build trust and put everyone at ease…a critical component in EXECUTIVE PRESENCE!

WINNING STRATEGY:

THE BEST CONVERSATIONALISTS ARE THE BEST LISTENERS!

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